I know I have said that I am sad about not going to school anymore. I lied. I thought I was sad, but reading my old posts reminded me of how tough it was to balance school life with home life.
That second-to-last semester, when I took the Queen with me to all my classes, really took a toll on my spirit. I describe it as the greatest depth of my despair. I felt tired, stretched, and very alone. Not many people could understand the difficulty of taking care of a baby, while attending classes, and keeping excellent grades. I was keenly aware of this. I felt alone in my sorrow.
The truth was, I was not alone. I am not referring to Mr. B., even though he supported me as much as his busy schedule would allow, I am referring to Heavenly Father. He sent his Spirit to comfort me in my greatest trial. In those dark days, He gave me strength to help pull me through. He made my burdens light. Not easier, just lighter. I grew closer to Him in a way that would not have been possible otherwise.
I am now on the other side. I have accomplished that goal that seemed nearly impossible. I did it despite two tough pregnancies.
I feel so different now. I don't have that constant anxiety about school, or anything else for that matter (moving helped this too). I feel happier and confident with my ability to pull Mr. B. through his many years of school.
I know January is usually the month for doing a "year in review", but August is the marker for me.
It began with a birth of a beautiful angel.
The Queen, a few minutes after birth
Our family of two became three.
One of our first family pictures, a few days before school started
Pretty soon our lives became filled with homework and stress. Like most new parents, we survived on a few hours of sleep at night. This made our school lives very difficult. But, we had an angel who stunned us every time we saw her.
The Queen, a few weeks old
We somehow managed to finish our many assignments.
The joy of balancing both roles
I would often go to bed at night filled with guilt for not having spent more quality time with my Queen. But, the semester ended and we survived. The next semester was ten times more difficult as Mr. B. and I were both attending full-time. It felt like we never stopped going. Once again, through it all the Queen brought us joy and happiness.
Mr. B. and his precious daughter
Before we knew it, the semester had ended. But not before we found out we were expecting our second baby. Remembering my first pregnancy, I hunkered down for a long, exhausting, bout of morning sickness. This is when I began my last semester. Pictures of me became far less frequent because I looked so pale and worn. I looked like death. But, it ended. I now looked forward to the day when I would graduate. I was not disappointed.
Mr. B. making a very sweet speech at my graduation party
The year has come to a close. I survived. Mr. B. survived. The Queen survived. I am now looking forward to helping Mr. B. through school by cooking, cleaning, and making a pleasant home for him to come home to after a very long day.
I am enjoying my role as full-time mom. I am still amazed at how much the Queen has grown.
The Queen, a week old
The Queen, 1 year old
The only thing I am waiting for now is our newest arrival. 11 weeks to go!
