Tough Times

I am very grateful for short memories. I had (almost) completely forgotten what it was like to be pregnant. I have had some lovely reminders. I only began to throw up a few weeks ago, but it feels like forever.
During a lovely visit with family, I had to take a trip to the hospital to get rehydrated. This means that my puking culminated into dehydration which meant the luxury of I.V. fluids bringing hydration back into my needy body. They also tried pumping me with various nausea medication, but none of them worked (I continued to feel nauseous and to vomit). But, after 2 bags (and since it was 4 am and we had been there since midnight) they released me to my wonderful...bed.

After feeling good (only throwing up once per day) for a few days, I began to go downhill.
After a long phone call with the nurse at my OB's office, she offered to give me weekly I.V. therapy. This is much easier than getting PICC line for home therapy because I am still able to do the things I must do (like finish school).

While I may seem chipper, sickness has been draining me. I am frustrated because I cannot do my daily housekeeping and mothering duties. I feel like a huge burden on Ben and stay up at night thinking over my shortcomings. Things that used to be easy (if not boring) require huge amounts of energy that I require for homework and taking care of Emily.

I feel like I complain so much. I hate the smell, look, and everything about our house. I hate food because it doesn't stay down. I cry over little things and feel so down.

I know that once I am not pregnant or not sick (whichever comes first) I will begin to like things again, it is difficult right now.

After much thinking, I realized that there must be a reason for my sickness. Less than 1% of pregnant women develop hyperemesis and only half of those are sick for the entire pregnancy. Since most of my friends, thankfully, experience pregnancies that are easy, I figure that I must need something. I realized today what that something is--humility. I know I am a prideful person, so Heavenly Father knows that this experience will diminish my pride and bring me closer to Him. This may seem odd, but really how do you get closer to God? Trials. I feel this the most when I am pregnant. Even though I throw up multiple times a day (think 20-30 on bad days, 1-10 on good), I am still able to take care of Emily, do my homework, and study for finals. I can even pull off excellent grades.

At the same time I understand that I will continue to grow from this trial. One of the greatest blessings has been for me to find ways to serve others. This can be as simple as calling to see how one of my friend's or a fellow church member is doing. I pray to know of ways I can serve so that I can remove the focus from myself back to others. While this may seem absurd, I cannot express how wonderful it feels to serve others. This is how I can become more like Jesus Christ. In the midst of His afflictions he sought ways to serve those around him. While I am no way near perfect, I am trying everyday to find ways of improvement. Actually, I am usually nudged (or pushed) in the direction I need to go for improvement. I feel very grateful that despite the intensity of my sickness, I have a loving Heavenly Father who constantly leads, guides, and comforts me in my darkest hours.

Thank you for all of those who give and have given help to me and my family at this time. I appreciate all of you. I especially thank our family members who reach out for all of us on a daily basis. Austin has been wonderfully gracious in taking care of the Queen when I need it and continually washing the dishes and the laundry. Finally, thank you, Ben, for giving me support at all times. I would not be able to make it through my pregnancies without your love. Thank you for constantly buying what fancies me at the moment, even when I throw it up immediately after. I appreciate everything you sacrifice for me, for Emily, and for the Lord. I love you.

Yes... we HAVE figured out what causes it!

I have started a new diet.


Ben and I refer to it as the anorexia/bulimia diet.


Medical professionals define it as hyperemesis gravidarum.

And now.....a FREE Question and Answer section! Hosted by....ME!!!

Was this pregnancy planned? Nope.

Are you excited? Of course! Ben and I cannot wait to meet our new little blessing! Even though it did come as a surprise, we could not have asked for a more welcome gift.

What would you like to have? We LOVE our beautiful little girl, so we would be ecstatic about another one! We also know that our boys will be handsome devils, so one of those would be wonderful as well!

OB or Midwife? OB this time. We really like him so far.

How far along are you/ When are you due? I had this all pegged down with Emily, but I guess I am wiser now....or something because I cannot remember how far along I am. I think (after consulting with Ben) that I am something like 7 weeks along. I know the "due date" is November 23rd. I am not too set on that date, and may even decide on another day instead.

Do you....? YES, we think we know what causes pregnancy.

How are you feeling? I think my picture says it all. I am really hoping to stay away from medical intervention, but it is getting pretty bad. I guess I shall see!

Will you finish school? I don't see why not. I was a very successful while expecting Emily and after I had her. Since I only have 8 weeks left, I don't think anything can hold me back. While I might be super sick, I am even more stubborn.

If you would like to know anything else, well leave a comment or give us a call! We have a hotline (our cell phones) available during the hours of 7 am to 12 midnight.

What is my reaction?

This has been a very spiritual experience for me. I think that Heavenly Father knew I needed personal revelation to make it through the next months. We suspected that I might be pregnant because Emily decided to quit nursing. While most babies will continue nursing if mom becomes pregnant, some babies decide the hCG hormone is a little too much for their taste. Emily took that route. Thus, she quit and we began feeding her formula full-time. While struggling with this new development, I was sitting in church trying to figure out what was going on. I suddenly had the most comforting feeling about having a baby. While I did not quite understand this feeling (I did not think I was pregnant), I felt at peace. When I found out I was expecting, I was delighted.

Growing a baby is serious business. My body does not cope well with the changes. Yet, I am so grateful for the chance to bring another life into the world. While I can't convince everyone that we are not crazy, I can at least point out that Ben and I don't make rash decisions. We are very thoughtful and hesitant when it comes to big changes. We also feel very strongly that when we get an impression, we should act on it.

We know what expenses and responsibilities babies bring and still feel so excited. I will welcome each and every child that comes into our family with loving arms.