Like this week.
I had another miscarriage. This time I decided not to tell anyone I was pregnant, just those who needed to know.
There is probably more that I could say; but, not much that I want to say.
When I started bleeding and crying uncontrollably, Emily came to me. She asked, "why are you crying, mommy?" So Ben told her. She comforted me in the only way she knows how, "you can have a baby Mommy!"
My sweet girl.
I feel like the calendar is getting filled with more dates/anniversaries of miscarriages than of birthdays. It's depressing. Like really depressing.
Oh well.
My kiddos make me laugh. I like that.
We had a fabulous summer, exploring our new home.
Now winter is settling in our Midwest home. It's different as there is humidity--it really gets under your skin. Brrrrrrr.......
I guess it's good to have winter now especially considering I feel like the landscape: bleak, desolate, and cold.
And that is life.
4 comments:
During my trying times I find I have to stay focused on the good in my life or else I find myself spiraling into despare.
So focus on your husband, on your babies, on the children/families you work with and hopefully (soon) you'll be able to widen your focus and take on the world again.
Until then, know that I'm thinking about you and sending lots of good energy your way
The same thing happened to me between my third and fourth baby. Miscarriage after miscarriage and I couldn't figure out why I was suddenly "broken." I understand your pain, Amber, and I will pray for your comfort and courage to keep pushing forward. Try to keep swimming my friend.
don't mean to be insensitive or anything but have you meet with a fertility specialist or just sometime of specialist yet?
Amber I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you feel. I hope along with your sweet daughter that you will have the baby you desire. Stay strong.
-Shan
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