We (the baby and I) made it to 19.5 weeks! I feel so weird about this. Excited, but weird. Ecstatic, but weird. (Name the movie!) I am really happy and so ... confused as to how I should react to all of this.
I met my new doctor today and she asked me all these questions like "are you going to find out the gender?" "Do you what such and such tests done?" "Have you felt this way?" You know, regular pregnancy/obstetric questions. Yet, the whole time I felt flummoxed. Am I really almost 20 weeks? Has the first trimester really ended? I really made it through alive AND with a healthy baby?
See? Flummoxed.
It's almost a throw-back to those days when I was pregnant with Emily, when everything was so new. But things aren't new, they are just new-like. Strange because getting here seemed impossible, yet somehow and for some reason my body accepted this embryo and allowed it to grow.
Grow and grow and grow until it is now 19.5 weeks old, has a healthy 140+ heart beat, and is an active bugger. (I'll help with this reference: I'll Love You Forever, the book.) Yes, this baby moves A LOT. It's sweet, and still catches me by surprise. I mean, anytime I feel this baby move around or kick its tiny legs and arms I excitedly tell Ben and the kids, "it's still alive!"
With this pregnancy, I lost 5-8 lbs (I'm not sure how much it was) and have gained a total of ....... ZERO. Yep, I am right at my pre-pregnancy weight.
I am wearing maternity clothes. New ones, at that. I bought cute ones because this is my last pregnancy and I want it to be special.
I am experiencing heart burn, a first with my pregnancies.
Though I am in my 2nd trimester, I still feel exhausted. I am sure 3 flights of stairs, two young kids, and being a full-time student has something to do with this.
About that, the student part, it's hard. I love my coursework, am performing amazingly well, but I feel so tied between the schoolwork and my kids. If they would just NOT MAKE MESSES when I am trying to write, or ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES WITHOUT GETTING INTO HARMFUL OBJECTS/SUBSTANCES, I think schoolwork might be a leeeetle bit easier.
Alas, these children don't quite understand why mommy doesn't want them making lakes in the bathroom, eating ice cream for breakfast, snacks, and dinner, or opening my Tums/Tylenol/other medication bottles and dumping them out (or putting them in their mouths). Even when I put things up and lock them, dearest Emily has figured out how to get things that she shouldn't get into.
Needless to say, things are tricky at the moment.
There are good and bad and terrible weeks. This week has been a mixture of bad and terrible. But, now that we have completely moved in and are figuring out a semi-regular schedule, I am holding onto hope that things will improve. And, hey, hope is something that I occasionally have a bundle of.
Well, I can't say Emily and Andrew aren't cute. Even when they get into trouble.
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